Dear Santa part II

How about a Rorschach mask and this little baby?

Dear Santa

What I want for Christmas.

Awful moment

That awful moment when a guest takes your controller and wants to log in as PLAYER ONE.
It's my house, it's my controller - I am PLAYER ONE, god damn it!

I found my father

Although the dark lord hasn't spoken to me - I'm sure it was him.

Call Of Duty

I wasn't writing  anything for a long time.
This is probably going to change now - duty is no longer calling.
A lot happened in these last weeks - yet no things that were funny enough to be posted here.

How to give me a hard-on

Show me something like this.
It's not about that woman in the shower. It's about graphics, sound & atmosphere.
Well, sometimes it's not about the tits.

It's all about tits

Yesterday was a black day for poor ol' Nerd.
I always enjoyed looking at my blog statistics - the number of visitors is nicely increasing. As I said: I always enjoyed. Past tense. Do you know why?
My real-life girlfriend (yeah, sorry to disappoint you - I have a real-life and a girlfriend.) has started a blog as well - in German. Of course I was sure all the time that I have more visitors than her - even if it would only be for the fact that mine is English and hers German only.
So I was anxious to know how many visitors she had until yet. She had more than me. Two-hundred-thirty-something.

How is that possible?
I know. It's all about having tits and a cute face.

But. We can do something about it!
Help me spread the message!
Together we can stop it!

Facebook for Nerds Part II

I just realized that not only "What's on your mind?" becomes "wh47 0ccup!35 j00r 7h!nk!ngz?", but that there is another BIG difference.
Big funny difference.
Big funny awesome difference.

If you're in a relationship with someone there's written: "pr0b4b1y 5133p!n9 w!7h ...".
Also "Born on..." becomes "5p4wn3d 0n...".

Will I r35p4wn ?

Facebook for nerds!

Alright, I'm sure some of you guys out there are reading this. At least I'm hoping you do!
However.
If you go to Facebook settings and to language, you can choose "Leet Speak" as your language.
You'll love it!
Home becomes 127.0.0.1
Profile becomes Pr0f1L3
Settings becomes /root
News feed becomes N00z F33d
Friends becomes n00bz

If you love it as much as I do, tell your nerd-friends about it!
Spread the word!

Mobile phone companies part 2

Yesterday I wrote about what I'd wish to have in my next mobile phone.
Now I just saw this new mobile phone:

If they'll make it as powerful as my HTC Desire HD and in a different design, I'll buy.

Future

I wonder what will come in the near future.
Will there be RAM for your brain?
Will there be external hard-drives which you can connect to your brain by putting your hair into it?
Will these hard-drives also be able to identify you by your hair and be locked if someone else puts his hair into it?
Will there be a mathematics-chip for your brain?

So many questions.
Each of it as important as the others.

Mobile phone companies

Dear mobile phone companies,

you're improving your phones all the time.
You're giving us more graphic power, more CPU power, more battery power.
I am very grateful for all these features.
But now, I have found something which would make a bigger difference than the enhancements listed above.
I don't know if you've already seen it. But there is some sort of rear view cameras for BMW cars, so you can park safely.

That's what it looks like.
I want the same thing, but not for parking. I want to have a background on my mobile phone that's always visible, showing me what the camera sees when I'm using it.
So why do I want that?
I want it, because it looks so damn stupid to walk into cars / street signs / dogs / excrements of dogs / people just because you were using your phone to text someone.

This would make the big difference.

Pretty pretty pretty please with cream on top.

- Nerd

Blogging

It's funny:
You write down stuff that no-one wants to know, yet you still hope for some guys to read your blogs.
Somehow this sounds like plain stupidity.
But hell, it feels good.
So I'll continue to blog, hoping to get a Blogstar once.

Awkward situation

That awkward moment when you ask someone "to CS" with you and then realize, that the person to which you addressed this question doesn't understand that you only wanted to play some Counterstrike.

Even more awkward if that person is male.

The question

The question is:
To play or not to play (Playstation 3)?

I think I'm going for "play". Sleeping is overrated!

Waking up

You surely know that feeling of waking up way too early?
You do - but you don't start your computer if you're not able to fall asleep again? Okay, never mind.

Darkness

It is getting dark.
Damn, I really should have bought those goddamn "Call Of Duty: Modern Warfare 2" night-vision goggles!
At 200$ they were a real bargain. Especially when compared against some 20$ torch.
Of course, that torch would give you light as well, and also, the environment wouldn't be green while using it - but the coolness-factor is not comparable!

Confession

Last Monday & Tuesday I fucked up. Really bad!
So I thought this would have been my game over, yet one of those bad-ass game overs where you can't just try again. Actually one of the sort, where you'd even have to search for a new game!
But then, due to circumstances unknown, I received an extra-life!
So now, I'll beat that bad-ass game!

Alcohol

I'll share a secret with you, oh my readers.
I do never drink alcohol.
You know why?
The feeling of being drunk reminds me of my old computer with a 56kbit/s Internet connection!
Everything you want to do happens like 20 seconds delayed!

Nerdity is taking over

You may not believe it, yet it is totally true.
Nerdity spreads! I didn't think so either, but now my girlfriend and I had the following text-conversation:
She: "I was just attacked by a rocket-ice-cream and had to eat it. It attacked and hurt me badly."
Me: "Have you used lick to destroy its defense and afterwards used bite to drain its health?"
She: "Exactly! Then she used shiver. Rocket-ice-cream (wild) was defeated. YvL gains 152 EP."

Some people should be Digimons

Sometimes I wish that certain people would be Digimons.
Since if they were digital I could delete them.

Girlfriend

When I got together with my girlfriend, I wondered why there was no "You found HER!"-trophy window in the top right corner of my field of view.
It would have been a secret gold trophy, for sure.

I hope Sony adds PSN trophies to real-life soon!

My fight (with the vending machine)

So I came home from my girlfriend's.
I had to wait for a long time, since there are few trains after 9pm.
However, as I stood there, I got bored. If I'm bored, I eat something. So I spotted this vending machine at the station. At first I had a hard time to figure out what I actually wanted to eat. Once I decided what to eat (Maltesers) I began to throw coins into the vending machine. Now guess what, the vending machine used "shield" and returned those coins as soon as I put them in.
But for god's sake, after a time, the vending machine had no more stamina points left and I could use my "throw coin" and won the fight.
Nerd received "Maltesers 100g".

First post

So there goes my first post.
Probably there'll be quite an amount of posts following very soon, so stay tuned.

People are going to ask me "Why do you think you're a nerd?".
I'll tell you why:
When I had to buy myself a shaver, I spotted this "Gilette" one.
It was expensive like hell, yet in the end I bought this one, even though I'm not the guy with too much money in his pocket (I'm a student!).
So, why did I buy this one and not one of those 10$ ones?
It's name was "Gilette Fusion: GAMER".

Nope, I'm NOT kidding.
Only truth.